Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Today's post has nothing to do with stitching.  If you want something stitching related, stop reading now.  If however, you want a few laughs, read on.  Even though I've read some of these stories before, I still can't stop laughing when I read them.  You should have seen me last night trying to read them to Tom.  I had a hard time getting through some of them.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

A grandmother was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before.  After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye! I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper.

My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"

A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?'' "You're both old," he replied.

When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."

When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised "Mine says I'm 4 to 6."

A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting." she said. "How do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."

Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child."

A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one child. "No," said another. "He's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a close."They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants.

And since I believe that every blog post needs at least one photo, I leave you with this one of our two "characters".


Vickie said...

Cute, cute, cute! Thanks. :)

Margaret said...

lol! Loved reading this post! And the pic -- sooooo cute!

Devon said...

Thank you for putting a smile on my face this sunny morning,,and you have 2 very cute characters..

Gwen said...

LOL! Very funny, Two very adorable characters.

Barb said...

Those are all so cute!! And that picture is just wonderful. The only problem is they make me miss my Grandson even more(if that is possible).On our last visit , he asked my husband's age. Then he said ,"Well Grandpa, it won't be long before you are 100!"

Marilyn said...

Those were all funny and cute.
Thanks for sharing.
Cute pic of your GS's too!